


partners in crime

by seoktothegyu



Series: Dark Parkian [1]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe, Jae and Younghyun are adoptive brothers, Jae and Younghyun are vaguely not good people here, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Smut, lots of mentions of sex, they're a mess and not the good kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:13:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22909915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoktothegyu/pseuds/seoktothegyu
Summary: The one wherein an introvert and an extrovert fall in love... with a dark twist.Inspired by the bookForbiddenby Tabitha Suzuma.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Series: Dark Parkian [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070135
Comments: 19
Kudos: 77
Collections: Day6 OTPs





	1. i’ll put your poison in my veins

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags and this note first before proceeding!  
> I wrote this story months ago after deciding to experiment a little with slightly heavier themes so this won't be as fluff-y as my other parkian fics. Also, the characterizations of JaeBri in here are darker in some parts. There will be a happy ending for parkian (though it feels wrong to mark it as "angst with a happy ending" in the tags) but it won't be in a conventional sense. The only reason I published this is because a friend of mine convinced me to do so. So, if you feel like this story isn't for you, please don’t hesitate to kindly exit out of this page. I have other fluffier fics if you fancy :)  
> That being said, let's get to it!  
> PS: i would have edited this properly but the more that i try to re-read this, the more i'm afraid i might convince myself not to publish it again lol
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this story are either products of my imagination or are used fictitiously.
> 
> twitter: @jaesbrivilege

Since they were little, Younghyun has always been good at making friends with the kids at their neighborhood. He has never been the shy one. He would simply approach them, compliment girls on their ponytails and pull pranks with the boys. And from a few yards away, Jae would usually just sit at the windowsill by his room upstairs, looking out for Younghyun while also admiring the younger and the way he enjoys being the center of attention among his playmates. It is not that Younghyun and Jae did not get along, on the contrary, they are really close with each other. It is just that Younghyun knows not to push Jae too hard when it comes to socializing with people because the older is very introverted. And it is not that Younghyun did not try to help push Jae out of his shell once, he just really prefers his own company—and Younghyun’s—more often than necessary. In addition to this, because of Younghyun’s firm telling off and properly-delivered threats (“tease him and I will not talk to you again, ever and ever and ever!”), none of the other kids ever made fun of Jae for being so shy and quiet.

After Younghyun was brought home from the adoption center when he was only six months old, the then three-year-old Jae was more than delighted. He no longer has to play by himself while his parents were busy at work. His babysitter was too boring to entertain him anyway. Growing up, Younghyun used to cry a lot over the littlest of things—the topmost part of his Legos falling off and not forming the way he wants to, not being able to catch his favorite cartoon on television, a classmate that was a little too mean, all those kinds of things—that was why Jae was very protective of him. The people around them, especially the adults, and Younghyun’s friends – who eventually warmed up to Jae and opened up their group for him as well because Younghyun made them see how nice the older really is—admired how Jae always comforted Younghyun whenever the younger would run to him, crying.

Jae would usually make him to stop crying by promising to buy ice cream together and to avenge him afterwards. Like that one-time years ago when a long-forgotten playmate of Younghyun (who also happened to have a crush on him) kept trying to steal a kiss on the cheek from him that annoyed Younghyun so much he cried and ran to Jae’s side. The adults found it cute how Jae acts all big and brave for Younghyun. They cooed at how sweet and protective Jae was.

What they did not see was the intensity behind Jae’s eyes as he glared at the other boy. It was the kind of glare that gave a reason for the expression “if looks could kill” to actually ring some truth behind it. Younghyun’s playmate – or rather, ex-playmate – was sent to see a therapist by his parents a week later for he suddenly seemed too scared to even speak. After that, he never showed his face to both Jae and Younghyun ever again. Apparently, he was diagnosed to be under severe trauma. All because of the look Jae gave him.

And Jae was only ten.

During college, Jae believed that the reason he was that protective of Younghyun was because the younger is very special and that he seemed vulnerable and fragile to him. But it was only after a certain incident that he fully grasped what his real intentions for Younghyun were.

Jae—in his fourth year of studying to be an engineer—and his class were dismissed a few minutes earlier than the usual time of dismissal. Instead of lingering around inside the classroom to chat with his course-mates like the rest of them did since it is their last class for the day (they know of his being introverted so they decided to take it upon themselves to open him up a little bit by always including him in their outings, or at least they try to when he seldom joins them anyway), he immediately ran out to look for Younghyun—in his first year of studying to be a Journalist—who was usually waiting for him after school because he would drive them home together—Jae’s idea. That time, he wanted to take a detour to the mall on their way home. There was not anything special happening that day; he just really wanted to treat the younger to his favorite coffee shop. But when he saw that Younghyun was not at their usual meeting place by the cafeteria, Jae figured the latter was just walking around campus with his group of friends. It took him about half an hour to start worrying of the younger’s whereabouts when students walking around got lesser and lesser for the majority of them already went home and there was still no sign of Younghyun anywhere. Jae did not know whether he should start looking for him or stay where he is just in case Younghyun finally arrives. Fortunately, Jae caught sight of the younger’s friends but apparently, they told him that Younghyun had not been with them the entire time.

“Well, where is he then?” Jae demanded to know.

“I think I saw him with your course-mate Carlo earlier.” One of them, Sungjin, seeing how worked up Jae was getting, calmly informed him.

Without giving a reply, he immediately took off; he did not really have a specific place on campus in mind but he figured he should start looking for the younger at that instant because he was with that “ _dim-witted jerk who’s about to realize who exactly he was messing with!_ ”

He found Younghyun sitting – or rather, hiding – behind a bush at the far end of campus grounds. Relieved, Jae crouched down in front of him and saw that he was hugging his knees to his chest.

“I’m here, Younghyun-ah.” He told the younger with the softest voice he could muster. He gently brushed all the hair on Younghyun’s forehead and when he saw the younger’s eyes, anger flared on his own. Younghyun’s eyes were red and puffy from crying.

“What did he do?” He asked with a dangerously low and steady voice. His mind was already running a few possible scenarios—the worst ones.

Younghyun looked up after hearing the intensity behind Jae’s words. He wiped away his own tears and rushed forward to hug Jae. Surprised, it took the older a few seconds to set aside his anger before hugging Younghyun in return.

He can tell that the younger was still feeling a little shaky. “You’re okay. I’m here now. I don’t plan on leaving your side any time soon.” Jae promised.

Younghyun gave a small nod before pulling away. Hearing those oh, so reassuring words from Jae gave its desired effect of calming him down and making him feel safe and untouchable again. But because he blames himself for letting Carlo fool him into coming with him after he lied, saying “Jae asked me to come and get you, Younghyun”, he could not meet Jae’s eyes out of shame.

To Younghyun, Jae is more than just his protector or his knight in shining armor. He is his prince-slash-hero combined, the one he runs to in times of distress, the one who’s always been there from the start, the one who promises that at the end of the day, everything will be alright as long as they had each other—his own brother. And he always believed Jae’s words; he still does, though it was not only Younghyun that appreciated Jae. The people around them, especially their parents, admired how Jae comforted Younghyun whenever he would run to him, crying. Because they see Jae as a very protective older brother to Younghyun, their parents would proudly look at their son and think about how they raised him very well. (Or so they think.)

Other than Mr. & Mrs. Park, Younghyun thinks so highly of him, too. And he values the fact that Jae thinks so highly of the younger as well; so much that Younghyun would not dare to do anything that would change Jae’s opinion of him.

Seeing the change in the younger’s facial expression, of course, Jae saw right through his thoughts.

“Hey,” he started. “Look at me, Younghyun-ah.” He hooked a finger under Younghyun’s chin and gently lifted it to make their eyes meet. “I thought we agreed long before that no one, no other boy or girl, gets to touch you, or even _look_ at you, without yours and my permission? And what that . . . _asshole_ did was more than just––“, Jae stopped to control his rage. He was unaware that he was again clenching his fists so tight his knuckles turned white. Younghyun, feeling brave, saw that they were so he wrapped Jae’s wrists with both of his hands and gently unclenched them before bringing them up to his lips to give a sweet kiss. This seemed to calm Jae down—a bit.

Jae was still too furious about Carlo to focus on what might have caused Younghyun’s gesture and to pay attention to the sudden warm feeling that spread all throughout his body after it. “What he did was more than just crossing a line. None of this is your fault, okay? That asshole has crossed you which meant that he has crossed _me_ too. And for that he has to pay.”

Younghyun, not knowing the full extent of his brother’s words, stared at his face first before agreeing.

“Let’s go home, hyung.” He told him.

“Alright then.”

It was a very quiet but tense ride home. Jae still has not calmed down. His driving, though still considerably safe, kept reaching past the speed limit. He did not take the shortest way to get to their village; he kept driving and driving around first because he was trying to cool his head. And Younghyun kept trying to start a conversation but the older would always just say one-worded replies. Finally, feeling the sudden boldness that ran through him earlier—the one that pushed him to kiss Jae’s hands—come back, Younghyun brought his left hand to Jae’s right knee and gave it a gentle and reassuring squeeze. Encouraged after seeing that Jae visibly relaxed, he started rubbing his brother’s leg. A warm feeling spread through the younger again after feeling Jae’s muscles respond to his touch in a very positive way, he decided to be a little more daring. He continued to reach up Jae’s leg a little higher, higher, and higher.

Suddenly, Jae pulled over to the side of the highway. It was already half past six in the evening. Since he took the long route, it was the least busy one so there were only a few cars passing by them. The AC was turned on and properly operating yet Jae was sweating a little and breathing hard once again brought by the surprise he felt and the stirring of his little member inside his pants. He had to control himself yet again, not only because he was driving but also because he’s starting to question Younghyun’s motives whenever he acts like this with him.

The last time his mind questioned the younger’s innocent intentions was from a few weeks ago. It was already late and Jae just got home from school because they were writing a paper and their professor was available for consultation only during that night so the students took the opportunity to stay with him. Everyone was fast asleep at home—everyone except for Younghyun. The younger waited for him to get home and when he did, Younghyun saw how exhausted he was after he plopped down, facing the ceiling, to the empty space at the other end of the couch his brother was sitting in. He complained to Younghyun about college while the latter tried to make him feel better—by telling jokes, of course. When this seemed to work only just a bit, Younghyun scooted a little closer to Jae’s head, lifted it and placed it to rest on his lap. Jae remained silent, partly too tired to do anything and partly, albeit secretly, anticipated his brother’s next move.

He didn’t have to wait that long as Younghyun then reached to unbutton the top three buttons of Jae’s uniform, revealing his white undershirt. Younghyun noticed but made no comment out of Jae’s breath hitching due to his actions. He was deeply confused as he knows that Younghyun wasn’t usually this openly sweet and touchy to anyone. At times like this, he was an exception—it used to be a rare one but recently, Younghyun has started to act like this more often; and they don’t happen randomly. Jae has noticed that all the times Younghyun has acted like this was whenever they were alone. As his thoughts were going to a direction that he so badly does not want them to go to, Younghyun (the sole person who has been running on his mind lately) stole his attention once again. The younger brought his hands to both of Jae’s shoulders and started massaging and kneading the tense muscles there.

Seeing as how this was only Younghyun’s plan all along, Jae wanted to hit his head for even considering what could possibly be making Younghyun act this way towards him. It was so inappropriate he did not even want to name it. He just blamed his tiredness for being paranoid. His thoughts were wrong. All is well between Jae and Younghyun. It only took about another two minutes for Jae to shrug off his doubts before settling to relax under his brother’s touch (for some unspeakable reason, he was disappointed that Younghyun did not continue opening his uniform all the way but Jae still enjoyed the massage—a little too much actually, if he’s being honest) and all the while, Younghyun hasn’t uttered a single word.

Alarmingly, those doubts resurfaced tonight. He had tried so hard to forget those thoughts because they were only giving him false hopes. It was just the two of them, alone in his car while it was dark outside? His hopes, thoughts and imaginations were stronger and wilder than ever.

 _Could he_ ––

 _Is this_ ––

_Are we finally . . .?_

He could tell that _something_ will happen tonight from the amount of sexual tension that has been feeding off the two of them. He doesn’t know what it is exactly but he knows for sure that with just one wrong move and they might get past the point of no return. And Jae did not want that. Not when his _brother_ was still so young and innocent. He did not want to taint Younghyun. Jae’s twenty-one. He’s obviously old enough to know how morally and spiritually wrong his feelings for the younger were. And yet here he was, demanding Younghyun to answer his questions—ones that should have been left unanswered.

“Why did you do that?” He asked quietly, removing the hand from his thigh.

“Do what?” Younghyun asked him just as quietly, angling his body sideways to face Jae.

“I know you know what I mean!” His voice raised a little as he gripped his brother by the shoulders. He noticed that Younghyun has been avoiding his gaze the whole time. He also noticed that he seems to keep finding reasons to touch Younghyun. He wanted to pass this off as Younghyun—being his young barely-legal and almost-eighteen self and just stepping into the land of debauchery that is college—was only curious thus wanting to experiment and explore with his big brother whom he trusts the most. _He just probably does not know the severity of what he was doing_ , Jae reasoned to himself.

Keeping his thoughts (and his raging hormones—don’t blame Jae, he’s only being a _healthy_ twenty-one-year-old guy after all) in check, he released a breath before letting Younghyun go.

“I’m sorry.” Jae muttered.

Younghyun did not acknowledge the apology. How could he when all he wanted was for Jae to touch him again? To grab him with those slender yet strong hands like before…

“You seemed tense. I just wanted to calm you down.” Younghyun explained.

“Alright,” Jae paused. “I’m calm. I’m calm. I’m calm.” It came out more of a question than an answer.

Another tense silence fell inside the car. But this time, their bodies were giving off sparks because of the rising tension between them. Neither of them knew what to say next even though they also knew that there’s a lot more that needed to be said. Jae was so lost in his thoughts between needing to ignore what Younghyun did and wanting to explore his feelings for his brother after that sensual “invitation” from Younghyun that he did not notice Younghyun was already gathering up the nerve to say what was on his mind.

Finally, Younghyun started, albeit weakly, the words that are about to come out of his mouth will weigh more than all the other words he ever said before this.

“Jae . . .”

It did not appear that the older heard him so he tried again. But since Younghyun has always been a sweet and sensual guy, he tried a different approach. He placed his hand back to Jae’s thigh.

Jae, as if he was electrocuted, jumped in his seat. He suddenly felt hot. He could not move; it was as if his body wanted to savor the younger’s every touch even if his mind was screaming at him to start putting some distance between them fast.

“Jae––”

“Why are you doing this to me, Younghyun?” He asked him, looking frustrated and painfully restrained.

“Jae, just––”

“You know how wrong this is! You _must_ know!”

“Will you please––”

“Oh God, this is not happening.” Jae started rambling. “You’re just feeling sick, that’s all. I mean, you haven’t been yourself these past few weeks. Are you feeling well? Do you need me to take you to the hospital? Or . . . or, or maybe you’re still a little shocked from what Carlo––”

“Will you shut up and listen to me for once?!” Younghyun basically shouted.

Jae finally snapped out of his thoughts again and looked Younghyun in the eyes. The latter looked like he was about to spill his thoughts so Jae waited.

Younghyun tightened his grip on his thigh but Jae did not react this time – at least not visibly, his member is already half-hard as it is.

“I love you.” Younghyun declared, speaking so breathtakingly and undoubtedly sure of his feelings for the older, just like how one knows that the sky is blue and water is wet.

“I love you, Jae.” He repeated. He reached his free hand to Jae’s left cheek while the other continued rubbing in a soft rhythm along Jae’s thigh. “And I want to show, in every aspect and in every way possible, my love for you as a brother, as a best friend, and most especially, as a lover.” He lifted both his hands this time to cup Jae’s face and moved a little closer to the older. It helped his courage that Jae unconsciously leaned into his touch. A couple of tears have fallen from Younghyun’s eyes but he did not wipe them away because he does not want to lose his grip on Jae. “I know how wrong this is, believe me, but guess what, I don’t care. Loving you this deeply and intimately feels right to me. I hate seeing those other girls in your class stealing glances at you when you weren’t looking. And yes, I am being jealous because they can do that without having the fear of being caught and called out for inappropriateness. But what about me, huh? They’d call me crazy, naïve, a psycho, hell, even a fucking slut who was too horny he decided to go after his own brother! Imagine how long I’ve been holding back just to touch you like this. I crave for you so much that I see you even in my dreams. Whenever I’m with you, I sometimes feel lonely because I know that I still can’t have you for myself. And I want _all_ of you, Jae. So, forgive me, okay? Forgive me for wanting this but I’m just really tired of hiding how I feel.”

Jae was quiet for a very long time. So long in fact that Younghyun’s sudden confidence has started to run out. Now he’s starting to doubt whether he did the right thing or ruined everything for the both of them. He was about to apologize and take it all back when Jae removed both of his hands from his face and started caressing them in his lap.

He was looking intently at their hands before saying in a quiet voice, “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting to be able to say those words to you myself? Now you stole all of them from my mouth.” He finally looked up and saw Younghyun smiling through his tears. Those intense eyes just shone from the new emotion behind them—hope.

For the last weak attempt at making things right, Jae tried, “Please take it all back.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Younghyun whispered, suddenly feeling the tension between them increase tenfold.

“Then you leave me no choice.” And just like that, Jae crushed his lips against Younghyun’s. Surprised, Younghyun gasped but Jae quickly took that as an opportunity to explore the younger’s mouth. Thus, began the dance between their tongues. And that delicious sensation made Younghyun release a breathy sigh.

Within a matter of seconds, the two of them already started panting because of the intensity of their kiss. Ever the brave one between the two, Younghyun pulled back and slightly faced sideways to give Jae better access to his neck. And Jae, ever so firm and strong, grab hold of Younghyun’s nape as he sucked and kissed his way up the latter’s neck and down to his right shoulder blade. While Jae was busy, Younghyun started unbuttoning his brother’s uniform.

Jae realized what he was trying to do so he decided to help him out. And within a matter of seconds, his polo and undershirt were at the floor of the car. Younghyun’s hands then tried to unbutton his pants.

“Wait,” Jae paused but not moving away from his neck. “Not here. Not yet.”

Younghyun nodded, agreeing. “Let’s just have a little fun then.”

Without warning, Jae pulled the lever below Younghyun’s seat, making the backrest fall backwards. He then pushed Younghyun to lie down before he proceeded in climbing on top of him. And for the next hour or so, they just laid there, occasionally taking a break from making out. They haven’t noticed the time and soon, it’s time for dinner and their mother would wonder where her sons could possibly be. At around eight in the evening, Jae’s phone rang, surprising the both of them.

Panting, Jae pulled out his phone from his back pocket. “It’s mine. Sorry.”

He answered the call after seeing the caller ID. “It’s mom.” He mouthed to Younghyun as he sat back to the driver’s seat.

“No, no we just decided to stop by somewhere–– yes, we’ll be home in a few. Yeah, of course I will. See you, mom.” After the call disconnected, Younghyun and Jae’s eyes met again causing their minds to replay what had just transpired. Slowly, a wide smile has stretched on both their faces. And soon, they were both laughing. Jae saw that Younghyun’s hair was a little disheveled so he reached out to fix it. He also buttoned up Younghyun’s uniform. Once he’s done, he realized that this look on Younghyun—the just-made-out one—is now one of his favorites.

The next morning, everything was back to normal. It was just another non-special day, with a few exceptions of birthdays here and there. The sun still rose from the East. The rich were still rich and the poor were still poor. People carried on with their lives. Younghyun still put up a fight with their family maid by insisting another five minutes of sleep. Jae was still sleep-deprived because of his course requirements. He had to leave again last night after dinner vaguely saying to Younghyun that he had to “run an errand”. Everything was still annoyingly the same inside the Park household.

But to Younghyun and Jae, today was a very different day. It was a beginning. During breakfast, Younghyun convinced Jae for them to leave a little earlier for school and to take the long way again, to which he gladly obliged. They pulled over at the same spot by the side of the highway and stayed for a few minutes.

When they got to school, Younghyun was feeling very happy—Carlo’s advances from yesterday were long forgotten—as he got out of Jae’s car and went to the direction where he just spotted one of his friends. Inside the car, Jae was looking at his face in the rearview mirror; he was busy arranging the collar of his uniform, trying to hide the slowly forming bruises around his lower neck and collarbone that are “coincidentally” the same shape as Younghyun’s mouth.

Today is indeed a very happy day. And when Jae found out from his classmates that Carlo dropped out of school last night because of _personal reasons_ —one of them heard that Carlo was currently checked into a hospital after allegedly getting brutally mugged late last night—Jae was even happier.

His classmates were too busy worrying over Carlo to notice that Jae did not seem surprised about the news at all.

***

For weeks, Jae and Younghyun were able to have stolen moments with each other; they’ll have a rendezvous during lunch break, take a few hours later to go home, travel to places very far from home on the weekends so that they can actually be a couple in public, and even sneaking into each other’s rooms late at night. No, they were not specifically having sex—they both wanted to but Jae just wants to make sure that Younghyun is ready and that he really wants his first to be with the older so Younghyun made Jae promise to at least wait for him to turn eighteen.

Jae agreed but it was also Younghyun who initiated for them to start sleeping together in the purest sense of the act (or as pure as they can be seeing how they are already committing something that is frowned upon by the society, even though they weren’t even technically related) by coming into Jae’s room one night without warning. He was already fast asleep so Younghyun crawled under the blankets causing Jae to stir. Upon seeing his brother suddenly by his side, Jae smiled, put his arms around the younger and pulled him close. Now that he was in his arms, he held him as if he is his most-prized possession. He held on tight enough to keep him safe, to let him know that his world revolves around him, and to remind himself that he is _his_ and his alone. Younghyun gladly accepted it – as he always seems to accept and think so highly of everything Jae does. And they slept together ever since. But that’s all they ever did; cuddling. And to avoid getting caught, Jae would wake up extra early to carry Younghyun back to his room.

If they’re both being honest, they get a kick out of the thrill of their surreptitious relationship as well. There’s something fun and exciting about finding different ways to see and be with each other intimately without arousing suspicion. But it wasn’t fun when all of Jae’s girl classmates still think that he is single—at least to Younghyun, it wasn’t. Not anymore.

One Friday afternoon, he heard one of them talking about the older in the hallway. He was inside one of the empty classrooms when two girls were walking just right outside, chatting loudly.

“Hey, Amy, do you think Jae will like this color?” The one with the annoying high-pitched voice asked the other. Younghyun, about to come out of the room, stopped dead on his tracks after hearing his lover’s name said out loud. Instead, he leaned his head closer to the doorframe and eavesdropped.

“Let me see.” The one named Amy asked and Younghyun saw that they were talking about the bright cherry red lipstick being applied to the annoying girl’s lips. “Looking hot. Oh, and it’s scented too! He will definitely make a move on you now!”

“I know, right? I’ve been practically flinging myself to him ever since freshman year! I mean, I get that he’s quiet and shy, I think that’s the only reason why he hasn’t made a move yet. Plus, the only person he really ever talks to is his younger brother, whatever his name is,” Younghyun cringed. “And I heard he’s very protective but that just makes him all the more handsome and brooding! That’s why,” she paused, her tone becoming a little meaningful. “Tonight, if he doesn’t taste these off my lips, then I sure as hell will make him!” She finished with a giggle that’s even more annoying than her voice, if that was still possible. To make it worse, Amy joined in as if it was funny.

Inside the room, Younghyun’s fists clenched so tight his knuckles turned white. He so badly wanted to scratch the girl’s eyes out but he held himself back. He had no right. After all, to everyone’s knowledge, he is only Jae’s brother. He had no right to act like a jealous boyfriend – even if he secretly is.

“And how do you plan on doing that, Stacey?” Amy asked excitedly.

 _So, Stacey is her name, huh?_ Younghyun took note of that detail, already thinking of ways on how to hurt this girl.

“Easy. After school, I’m going to trick him into coming with me here in one of these empty rooms, which, um, reminds me. . .” Stacey trailed off.

“What? What?” Amy eagerly asked.

“I actually need your help to lock the door once we’re inside. Don’t worry; it won’t take long, just until I’m done with him . . . if you know what I mean.” Stacey’s tone was anything but subtle.

“OMG! You’re so naughty, girl! Of course, I’ll help you. Just ah,” Amy’s voice dropped but Younghyun heard her still. “As long as you continue my monthly supply. I don’t care what my doctor said.”

Stacey snorted. “That’s easy as well. I don’t want to use up mine right now because Jae might smell them on me. I can give you my pack right now if you like.” Younghyun squinted his eyes to see what Stacey handed to Amy. From what he can see, it’s a ziplock bag full of dark green . . . substances in it—weed. Instantly, Younghyun’s palms started getting sweaty. These girls don’t fool around.

Before he can think of what to do, the bell rang, signaling the time to get back to their respective classes. Even after the two were long gone, Younghyun stayed inside the room, sitting on top of the teacher’s desk. He had decided to cut Literature 100 because of the turmoil of his thoughts. He was split. On one hand, he so badly wanted to go to Jae immediately and ask him to cut his classes for the rest of the afternoon to go someplace else with him where they can be alone. And on the other hand, he was hit with the sudden realization that he can’t give those things to Jae while Stacey irritatingly and easily can: going out together and doing things in public, the fun that only your peers can provide, the experience, the confidence to do nasty dirty things, the _sex_ , heck, even the drugs! (Younghyun is open-minded enough and so he wants Jae to experience every fun thing college has to offer.) And he knows deep down that he can’t give them to him. Not when he’s only barely eighteen, technically underaged, inexperienced and still considered as innocent as a bird. He was afraid that sooner or later, Jae is going to realize that too, come to his own senses and leave Younghyun because of it. He was so in too deep that he was even willing to let Jae have all the fun he wants with someone else just as long as the older will still come home to him. And so, even if it pains Younghyun so, he did nothing to stop Stacey. In fact, he even avoided seeing Jae that afternoon and went out of campus; he did not come home until after midnight.

When he got to their front yard, he looked up to the windows and saw that all the lights were out. He remembered that their parents went out of town for a business trip while their maid, who only works for them during weekdays, went home to her family already. He was hit once again with another painful realization – _a family_ – one more thing he could never be able to give Jae. He would have cried again if he hadn’t already cried his eyes out all evening at the park. He also eyed the window of Jae’s room. It was dark. _Does that mean he’s not home and still with Stacey?_

Sighing deeply, he dug for his keys from his bag. When he got to the living room, he dropped his things on the floor, pulled his uniform from being tucked into the waistband of his slacks and opened the top two buttons before flicking the lights on. And after doing so, his heart jumped to his throat.

“Where the hell have you been all night?” Jae was sitting on the sofa all along.

Seeing him there brought hope to creep back into Younghyun’s mind. But since he does not know what really happened earlier while he’s gone, he did not know how to react and instead, he chose to just ignore Jae completely. He picked up his bag from the floor and started walking away from his brother.

“Kang Younghyun.”

He did not let the fact that Jae used his birthname deter him from walking away as he tried to cross the living room without so much as sparing the older another glance.

Suddenly, he heard the couch give a soft creak and not a moment too soon, he was pulled back by the elbow and Jae had him against the wall, with both his arms on either side of his head, trapping him.

“What do you want?!” Younghyun asked him, trying to sound irritated to cover up his anxiousness. If he doesn’t put up a fight, Jae will easily see right through him and instantly know what’s been bothering him.

Jae didn’t answer right away. He studied the younger’s face for a while saying, “Something’s wrong with you.”

Younghyun, already on edge, took it the wrong way. “No shit, Jae! I am in love with my brother! What could _possibly_ be wrong with me?!”

Calmly, Jae shook his head. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Younghyun smiled ruefully. “But it’s the truth though, isn’t it?”

Jae’s not having any of this. He knows whenever something is bothering Younghyun, his first move is always to distance himself. He had always wanted to face those problems alone. He would push and push until he’s sure he has driven Jae away. But Jae won’t let him do that, not when they were already in a romantic relationship.

To calm the younger down, he rested his forehead against Younghyun’s. “I meant it when I said that I love you the first time. And I still mean it now and will mean it for as long as I live. I love you, Younghyun-ah. Every part of you belongs to me.” He said it with such collected fierceness and assurance that it has quieted Younghyun down and he was now staring back at the older. Younghyun looked so torn that Jae just couldn’t stop himself and gave the younger a chaste kiss. “That also means that your problems are included. Your worries are also mine. So please, let me help you. I will solve those problems for you, only if you’ll let me.”

While waiting for Younghyun’s reply, Jae started nuzzling his neck. He noticed again that the younger’s top kept falling off on one shoulder so Jae unbuttoned it all the way through, leaving Younghyun with his thin undershirt on but since the vague sight of the younger’s nipples were too much to him, Jae removed the offending clothing off Younghyun as well.

Jae continued nuzzling his neck, however, he was careful not to touch Younghyun’s torso.

“This.”

“Hm?” Jae asked, looking a little unfocused and distracted after lifting his gaze back to the younger’s eyes.

“ _This_ is my problem.” Younghyun, who now seems to avoid Jae’s gaze, told him. “You don’t want _this_ with me because I’m too young and inexperienced. But don’t worry. I’m not offended because I agree. You deserve someone who is completely capable of pleasuring you.”

Confused, Jae slightly backed away. “What?”

“See?!” Younghyun exasperated. “I’m already half-naked in front of you and you won’t even touch me!”

“Wait,” Jae stepped back closer; any sliver of space that was there between them, gone.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Younghyun told him, cheeks flaring red at the intensity of his gaze. Jae was looking at him with pure adoration.

The corners of Jae’s lips lifted. “So, this has been your problem? That I think you’re inexperienced? You’re afraid that I’m going to come to someone else just because you thought you wouldn’t be good at sex?” Jae was full on smirking now.

After hearing him say it like that, like Younghyun’s idea was completely ridiculous, he realized that he may have, in fact, overreacted. He felt that he had to defend himself though, with the way Jae is looking at him now. “There are other things too! Like the fact that you’re missing out on all the fun with your peers because of me. Or that I couldn’t ever give you a family no matter how bad we wanted to have one. Hell, we can’t even go out in public as a couple! Sooner or later you’ll get tired of me and of the restrictions of being with me.”

Jae was looking at him tenderly now. “Younghyun, I thought we’ve already established that you are more than enough for me?”

“I know, I know. But after hearing what Stacey was planning for you, I couldn’t help but be jealous.” Younghyun reasoned.

Jae frowned. “What does my classmate have to do with this?”

Younghyun frowned back. “Wasn’t she with you earlier?”

Now Jae looks plainly confused. “Um, no. Right after your friend, Sungjin, came to me saying that he couldn’t find you and you’ve cut your classes, I cut mine as well to look for you.”

“So, you’re saying you haven’t been with Stacey the whole time I was gone?” He wanted to make sure.

Jae shook his head. “Why would I be with her? We’re not even friends. Besides, I was too busy looking for you.”

After being assured, Younghyun sighed in relief. “Alright then.”

Jae studied him once again, the smirk on his face resurfacing. “Oh, I know what this is . . . You were jealous.”

Younghyun scoffed. “I wasn’t jealous.”

Jae lightly flicked him on the forehead. “You already said you were! And it’s so obvious, love. It’s cute how wrong you are though. You actually thought I did not want to make love with you.”

“Is it my fault to think that way?” Younghyun shrugged. “You keep saying no to me. Even when we’re standing this close, you’re still not touching me. I want _you_ , Jae. I want to taste you, feel you buried deep within me and filling my insides. I want you to want to taste me. I want us to reach our peaks together. What I _need_ is for all of these to happen with you. I may be too young to feel this way but we’re already committing something wrong here so I don’t care anymore. I have already surrendered every part of me to you. And I think it’s only fair for me to ask for every part of you too.”

“You already have every part of me, Younghyun.” Jae reminded him. “From the minute we let ourselves succumb to this relationship; I gave myself to you. I was only holding back because I thought you weren’t ready yet. And boy, was I wrong?” Younghyun blushed at his words. “Do you have _any_ idea how much self-control I have to muster _every single time_ you climb into my bed? Or when you’re only wearing my boxers and nothing else, comfortably lounging at home as if you’re forgetting that I see you every day? Or whenever we’re both left at home alone and you just “happen” to leave your door wide open while you were changing, and more often than not, completely naked? Or, right now,” he leaned his body closer to Younghyun’s as if it was still possible, “when we have the house all to ourselves and you’re completely trapped, helpless, flushed, squirming and . . . half-naked under my touch; completely free to have my ways with you? Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me, Younghyun? I don’t think you do.”

Younghyun’s lips parted, breathing him in. “Then show me.”

And it was all the invitation Jae needed.

He crashed his lips with Younghyun, aggressively thrusting his tongue inside to explore his brother’s mouth. Younghyun gave off a sound that’s equal parts a sigh and a moan the second he felt all of Jae’s body pressing against his; Jae’s hardness easily poking the younger’s lower belly through his shorts. And because of that, Younghyun wanted to relieve him immediately as he tried to free Jae’s member from his boxer shorts but Jae was quick to stop any of his advances.

Younghyun was almost hurt, taking Jae’s actions as a sign of rejection. But once he saw the look in Jae’s eyes, saw the hunger in them, Younghyun’s features immediately softened. He saw that Jae’s face mirrored his desire perfectly (perhaps Jae’s held more intensity), the hunger and yearning for them to finally become together as one physically. His earlier hurt was now simply replaced with confusion. And he asked Jae a silent question with the tilt of his head.

Before answering, Jae pinned both of Younghyun’s hands just a little above his head. “This is going to be your first time, Younghyun. This will surely hurt for you. And before I tell you how honored I am to be your first, I will tell you that tonight, my main focus is to give you the very best experience you could ever have. My only aim tonight is to please you, and keep pleasing you until you are more than satisfied. I will hold back any of my orgasms, I can be gentle, I can be rough. I can go slowly unless you tell me not to, then I can definitely go faster, deeper and harder. Tonight Younghyun, you will sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. I will take care of the rest. For a first timer, I am going to make sure that you will have one of the best orgasms possible.”

Just by hearing Jae’s promise alone is enough to ignite the fire deep within Younghyun’s gut.

“I trust you just as much as I love you, Jae.” He whispered, looking deep into his eyes.

Jae’s eyes glinted upon hearing his words. “And I love you, Younghyun-ah. I am yours, irrevocably, completely and infinitely.”

That night, Younghyun thanked all of the gods in heaven that they have the house all to themselves. He lost his virginity to Jae as he moaned and screamed at the top of his lungs. He found the pleasure to be too much (so he asked him to slow down as he ate his ass, licked and drank his essence away), too little (so he _begged_ for him to go faster and deeper, to pound harder) and completely satisfying (so he asked for another round just seconds after Jae emptied himself inside of him; in fact, he only stopped asking for another round when he was too tired to even keep his eyes open, not even wanting and bothering to ask Jae to pull out of him. He lasted for three rounds and realistically speaking, that’s more than enough for a first time considering that the walls of Younghyun’s anus were just starting to get used to Jae’s size).

 _And he’s just fucking huge!_ Younghyun thought to himself the first time he laid eyes on Jae’s erection. If he’s being completely honest, he was even worried how he would fit inside him. But as it seems, right after Jae eased himself into the younger, after spending what felt like hours getting him loose, it was just the perfect fit.

The next morning, he woke up with Jae’s arms wrapped around his waist, his back resting against the older’s chest. They were still completely naked, Jae’s morning wood poking at the crevice of Younghyun’s ass. He twisted slightly, to avoid waking him, as he faced Jae’s peacefully handsome sleeping face. He reached to give a chaste kiss over his eyelids, down the line of his nose, and lastly, his plump lips that parted when Younghyun’s lips were merely inches away as if it already unconsciously felt Younghyun was near.

When the younger pulled away for a bit, he whispered to him with the lightest smile he has ever worn in . . . he does not even know how long it’s been since he had smiled like this. “I could easily get used to this.” All he knows is that waking up next to Jae is now his second most favorite thing in the world. Making love with him is obviously the first one by a long shot. He has deeply enjoyed last night and had admired the way Jae was patient and gentle with him yet he became aggressive and rough when he needed him to be. He now knows what the fuss about sex is all about and regretted how he did not ask the older to make love to him a little sooner. But nonetheless, he had a _really_ great time (well, more specifically, he had really great three rounds with him). _I will most definitely not look at this couch the same way ever again._ He thought with a smirk.

Just as he continued to stare at Jae’s serene face, he caught sight of something resting on top of the coffee table behind him. It took him a few seconds to register what exactly he is seeing. And once it did, his eyes widened in alarm.

It was a small digital clock, showing that it’s already twelve minutes past 9AM. Their maid might get here any second now and see them looking and smelling of sex!

“Jae, wake up!” He started shaking him by the shoulders and when he did not stir, he rolled on top of him to reach for the digital clock, pressing a few buttons and seconds later, it blared a deafening alarm, jolting Jae into consciousness.

“What’s––?” He groggily asked the guy lying on top of him. After getting his bearings, he gave Younghyun a perfect smile, reaching forward for a chaste kiss. “Good morning, my love. Is this your new way of waking me up? Because I could get used to this every single day.”

Ever unresisting to Jae’s kisses, the younger responded to his kiss, turning it into a torrid one; intense enough that he felt _something_ suddenly poking at his lower belly. “Whoa there, someone’s awake as well.”

Jae shrugged under him. “Can you blame me?” His eyes held a playful glint before reaching his right hand over to Younghyun’s ass and giving the left cheek a rightful squeeze. Delighted, Younghyun squealed on top of him. He rested his hands on top of Jae’s broad chest while bringing his head down to rest by the older’s throat. “How sore are you?” He felt the vibrations on his neck as Jae asked him the question.

Upon hearing his words, Younghyun was reminded of why he woke Jae up in the first place. He quickly lifted his head, giving him an urgent look. “We need to get cleaned up! The maid might get here any second now and we obviously look like––“

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Younghyun was surprised by his reply. “No. It’s not going to be _fine_. When,” he paused, trying to get up and detach himself from his boyfriend but Jae, the stubborn boy that he is, wrapped his hands around his waist, effectively trapping him. Younghyun gave him an exasperated sigh but stayed laying on top of him. “If she sees us like this, she will surely tattletale to mom and dad; that money-hungry imbecile who’s always too eager to suck our parents’ asses any chance she gets! Do you have any idea what they will do to us? They will separate us! I don’t––“

He was interrupted by Jae’s laugh.

“This is not funny!” He lightly smacked Jae’s shoulder. “Now get up from this couch and get dressed.”

Jae, now looking like a five-year-old, pouted at Younghyun. “I don’t want to.” And after seeing the confused and annoyed look on Younghyun’s face, he couldn’t help but laugh again.

“What is wrong with you?!” Younghyun was now full-on frowning down at him.

“I’m sorry!” He tried to say in between fits of laughter. “Look, calm down, love. We still have the house all to ourselves today, okay? I think you’re forgetting that today is Saturday. . .”

Saturday, as in a weekend; another day not included on their maid’s work days which are only during the weekdays. And their parents won’t be home until late evening tomorrow, or, knowing how their parents are often the cause of delay during outings, early Monday morning. Realization dawned on Younghyun. “We’re still completely alone? For the rest of the day and tomorrow?” He started smirking.

“What are you thinking, my little minx?” Jae cocked an eyebrow at him in inquiry.

Younghyun wiggled his eyebrows suggestively down at him, his eyes adapting a playful glint. “How about a quickie before we make breakfast?”

Jae chuckled. “My love, aren’t you still sore? You must be for lasting three rounds on your first night.”

By way of disproving Jae, Younghyun reached his right hand down the length of Jae’s body, finding, and successfully locating, his morning wood. Feeling how hard it already is as it poked his lower abdomen, he grasped it, making Jae inhale sharply. “I will never be too sore for this, my love.” He slowly pumped it up and down, using the slight pre-come to make the slide a little smoother, as he reached his head down to kiss the sensitive spot right below Jae’s ear.

Ever not able to say no to the younger, Jae groaned. “Alright, fine. But just _one_ quickie and then we’re eating breakfast.”

Younghyun pouted. “Fine, but just so you know, this,” he gripped his length, “is already breakfast for me.”

For the rest of the day, Younghyun and Jae decided to stay in, have a movie marathon, and, as Younghyun planned, Jae vowed to be his slave until midnight. Unfortunately, Jae did not agree to make love with him again, at least not until Sunday afternoon (a little after full day since their first time) because, even if Younghyun claims otherwise, Jae knows just how sore he feels. And after their session in the shower before breakfast—which actually lasted longer than planned because Younghyun was able to convince him to have a few more rounds—earlier this morning, Jae can see that Younghyun barely walks around the house, he even winces when moving his legs into a more comfortable position in the couch.

To Younghyun’s disappointment, Jae has been strong enough to resist his advances and tempting antics. His attempts included blackmail (he threatened not to sneak in to his bed to sleep with him at night anymore if he doesn’t make love to the younger this instant—of course he’s not serious on this threat and Jae knows it as well that’s why he easily said no to the request), dominance while asking for his submission (while watching a movie, Younghyun suddenly climbed on top of Jae on the sofa, cradled his hips, and tried to say in the bossiest tone he could muster, “As my slave, I am commanding you to _fuck_ me mercilessly.” But Jae couldn’t help laughing at him, claiming that he actually looks cute while trying to dominate him; keyword, trying) and bargaining (he promised to perform all of Jae’s sexual fantasies if he agrees to make love to Younghyun any time he asks him to). But after enduring—and more than slightly enjoying—all of these attempts for his downfall, Jae did not falter. And frustration aside, Younghyun is actually quite impressed. He did not expect Jae to still be able to say no to him while he was already giving the older head.

“Come on, what are you trying to prove?” Younghyun could not help but whine. “That you’re Superman or whatever for having such unfaltering will?”

Jae just chuckled at his words.

Seeing how Jae is not sharing his distress – he seems to even find it amusing – Younghyun tried on a different approach. “Look, I saw your face last night and I know that you liked it just as much as I did, so what gives?” He adjusted himself to face the older completely. “Why are you suddenly so keen on saying no to me? Not the ‘I’m not yet ready’ argument again, please?”

Sighing, Jae finally relented to answer to his boyfriend’s complaints. “Fine . . .”

Younghyun instantly smiled. “Okay, good. Get your clothes off now and let me–”

“What I meant was, fine, we can have sex again _tomorrow night_ if,” he paused, making Younghyun pout like a five-year-old child. “If you agree to go out on a date with me tomorrow morning.”

“That’s not fair, we can—wait a minute.” Younghyun peered into his eyes. “You’re serious?”

Jae nodded at him, his eyes adapting the usual playful glint. “Very. And we’ll go and eat at any restaurant you want, just as long as, you know, it’s from a few towns over.”

Younghyun’s smile resurfaced. If there’s anything he wants just as much as making love to Jae, it’s being able to go out with him publicly as an actual couple. He does not even care where the destination is, as long as he’s with him and that they’re together, any destination is paradise. Because if he’s being completely honest, there’s not a single minute that he doesn’t wish for people to finally see him as Jae’s other half—“ _my better half_ ” are his exact words of praise to him as they reached the stars together the night before—he wants to be able to shout to the whole world that Jae is _his_ and his alone.

“I would definitely love that.”

The smile in his eyes was mirrored with pure devotion in Jae’s. He reached over to give Younghyun’s forehead a chaste kiss because he couldn’t help it either. There’s nothing he would love more than to announce to everyone that Younghyun is his; that they belong to each other not only in this lifetime, but in the ones that came before and after it. He also wants everyone to know that no one can ever separate them, and that whoever tries to do so, Jae vows that they will find themselves kneeling on the ground, begging for his mercy.


	2. they say the best love is insane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're perfect together but turn toxic the moment they're faced with the fear of being apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning: there's violence in this chapter, though it's not that graphic. Just wanted to give a heads-up.

Sunday morning, Younghyun woke up alone in Jae’s bed.

Slightly shivering from the coldness coming from the AC, he pulled the duvet higher up his naked torso, his nipples hardened at the temperature in the room. He moved his body to the side and looked for his clothes which were scattered on the floor. And from the sight of them, everything that happened the night before came rushing back to his mind with overwhelming clarity.

Murmured curses, promises and praises to each other’s bodies were swirling in the air. Shouts and screams made out of pleasure and declaration of love were, for once, unmuffled and done without an ounce of guilt and doubt. Having the house all to themselves—even for just a few days—was more than they could ever ask for.

No, they did not fuck or had sex or made love or whatever term and euphemism there is for that sort of thing again—as Jae’s will is actually _that_ strong (but, can you blame him? He is after all just looking out for the younger, and more specifically, trying to avoid worsening his soreness) – but they still enjoyed each other’s company and bodies in this bed. They have tried, done and perfected numerous fellatios (which included going old-school with the infamous simultaneously giving-and-receiving position) and came to completion without performing actual penetration. They have enjoyed foreplay and teasing. They even became creative with a bottle of whipped cream. So, Jae’s sheets pretty much need to be washed sometime soon—but of course, not just mainly because of the whipped cream.

Younghyun remembered one certain thing they did that still made him blush just by thinking of it.

“Love, I have an idea.” He told Jae while gripping his hair and trying to lift the older’s head from between his thighs to make their eyes meet.

Upon seeing how wet his lips were with Younghyun's juices and the way he licked them off with his tongue, the younger felt his pre-come pool even more down his length. Noticing this, Jae smirked, saying, “Let me finish this first.”

After Jae’s lips wrapped around his member once more, licked and sucked at the sensitive tip, Younghyun tried so hard to hold back the orgasm. He had seen and read this thing from a porn site that he so badly wanted to try with Jae.

“Jae, wait.” It took a lot from him to say those things after feeling – and enjoying – the way Jae’s lips and tongue danced with his erection.

Jae looked up at him again with curiosity. “What is it?”

“I want to try something with you.”

Smirking wider, Jae asked, “Anything for you, my love.”

Stifling a giggle that almost surfaced out of excitement, Younghyun told him, “Get the bottle of whipped cream from the fridge.”

Jae’s eyebrows rose.

“I saw this from a porn site earlier today.” He explained, feeling his cheeks redden as a warm blush spread through them.

Jae’s smirk resurfaced. “Who are you and what have you done to my innocent brother, you little minx?”

Unable to resist the pressure building up in his belly because of those flashbacks, he wanted to find Jae—no, he _needed_ to find him. He planned on telling him to put a rain check on their date because his body is asking for a replay of every single thing they did last night—and more. But when he saw the note that Jae left for him on the bedside table, all of his horny thoughts for his boyfriend vanished instantly—well, some of them, at least.

_Love,_

_Once you’re awake and fully showered, I want you to put on the black shirt that I got for you last month (it’s up to you whether or not you’ll wear anything else underneath, if you know what I’m saying *wink wink*). Don’t worry, I’m right downstairs preparing your breakfast. Just come down when you’re ready._

_P.S. I can’t wait to spend the rest of the day with you._

_Yours eternally,_

_Jae_

He felt that his heart could burst out of his chest from excitement and pure love for this man. It’s like he has a way with surprising Younghyun with his sweet little acts—which is even more surprising in itself considering he’s his brother and that they’ve known each other for as long as he can remember. They pretty much know everything about each other, their tells whenever one is lying—or at least trying to—their trains of thought, course of action to solve any problem, dreams and aspirations, everything. That’s why he treasures all of the times Jae was able to still surprise him, and he himself has never stopped trying to return the favor.

He realized that in his entire life, all of the days that have come before the day he and Jae confessed were most absolutely dull compared to the day Jae told him that his love for him was more than familial.

After rereading the note for as many times as he could count, he folded it in half and stood up from the oh, so comfortable bed and into his own room to hide the note inside his “Jae Journal”. It’s a brown leather-covered notebook where he basically writes every details of his feelings, thoughts, musings, encounters (both imagined sexual scenarios and otherwise) and wishes and dreams shared with Jae. Even from the days when they were still just plain adoptive siblings to each other, hiding and trying to keep their feelings from surfacing, he would write how Jae would usually walk him to classrooms first before going into his, or how he would ignore his other classmates whenever Younghyun’s with him at school even if they were only talking about something that others might consider boring; but to Younghyun, every word that comes out of Jae’s mouth is fascinating.

And of course, the things that he could do to the younger with that mouth are fascinating as well.

Younghyun made sure that his note was safe and hidden before taking a shower. And once he was done, he walked over to his walk-in closet to get the dress shirt Jae was talking about. It was actually a secret gift; Jae gave it to him right after he climbed on the older’s bed that fateful Thursday night the month before.

With a bright smile plastered on his pretty face, Younghyun quickly put on the shirt followed by his pants. He thought if there were still anything else that he needed to bring but quickly decided against it, remembering that Jae promised to take care of everything. He even left his phone on the bed. Who else would he be calling and texting when the only person that he really cares about will be spending the day with him anyway? He wants his full attention to solely be on Jae. After all, they’re not sure when the next opportunity will present itself to them, might as well make every second count.

***

“This is a very nice place, love.” Younghyun commented with a smile as he looked down at the city’s skyline. He was laying on a blanket laid out on top of the trunk of Jae’s car while his boyfriend was sitting at the driver’s seat, busy choosing which playlist to use as their background music.

They were at this secluded off-road clearing that overlooked the entire city. After having lunch and walking around the mall like a normal couple, Jae told Younghyun that he accidentally found them a private place—one that they could claim and could always run to whenever things in their lives get too stressful or complicated—just from a few weeks ago and just waited for the right time to show the younger.

“You found it accidentally?” He, while sitting at the passenger seat on the way here, repeated. “How?”

“Well,” Jae started. “As I was driving along this road” —he pertained to the opposite lane along the highway— “my car broke down. Luckily, I managed to pull over to the side to avoid being a hindrance to ongoing traffic, though it’s pretty obvious now that barely any car drives here, but anyway, I saw a tiny dirt path over by the other side of the road. The width of it is just wide enough for a car. At first, I was confused because I was pretty sure it wasn’t there before. But after a quick recon of the place, I realized that the trees and bushes along its mouth are pretty dense and thick. You could easily miss seeing it if you don’t know where to look, much less, know of its existence. That’s why I chose this to be _our_ place.”

And here they are; about to have their picnic in front of a beautiful view right before dusk.

“Aren’t you done yet, my love?” Younghyun called to Jae just as a lovely melancholy sound started playing from the stereo.

Jae emerged from the driver’s seat and walked towards Younghyun by the trunk. “This song is the one you love, right?”

Younghyun smiled at him before nodding. “Get your firm, cute butt over here now.” He patted the spot just beside himself. Chuckling, Jae did as he’s told. Younghyun made way for him to climb over and once he has, he put his left arm behind the younger’s shoulders and pulled Younghyun closer, making his head rest on top of Jae’s chest. Younghyun can feel the steady rhythm of Jae’s heart on his right cheek and can smell the familiar scent of his perfume (which was his gift, by the way). Sighing at their comfortable position, his eyes fluttered close. And as the lights of the city started flickering on one by one as the last few bits of the sun disappeared under the horizon, a peaceful and serene silence fell between them, their hold on each other tightened with contentment.

A few minutes later, Younghyun spoke up. “Thank you, my love.” He kissed his chest for a few seconds before looking up at him.

Jae slightly frowned in question. “For what, babe?”

“For today. For the wonderful lunch. For holding my hand at the mall. For showing me this special spot— _our_ place.” He paused, rolling over to lay on top of Jae, his legs straddling the older’s hips and placing his hands back to his chest. “And for being you.”

Jae’s eyes softened at his words. “You know I’d do anything for you.” He wrapped his hands around Younghyun’s hips.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

As the words escaped Jae’s mouth, their lips met for a soft, sensitive kiss. When they pulled away, their eyes met as well and in them, they saw the fire and passion burning behind it and not a second later, their lips met again for a more heated, hungry, and messy kiss. Younghyun’s hands gripped the back of Jae’s head as he deepened it. In return, Jae’s left hand reached up to wrap around Younghyun’s waist, pulling him closer while his right hand reached down towards Younghyun’s ass and started sensually kneading them through the fabric of the younger’s pants. Loving the sensation that spread through him from Jae’s touch, Younghyun guided Jae’s hand towards his lower abdomen, just above the button of his slacks, inviting the older to undo it for him. The older quickly did as he’s told, unbuttoning it and pulling down the zipper.

“You’re not wearing underwear.” He smirked against the younger’s lips. His slender fingers immediately coming in contact with Younghyun’s erection.

“You know I’d do anything for you.” Younghyun repeated the older’s words from earlier.

And with that, Jae flipped them over. He was now lying on top of Younghyun. While they resumed their kiss, his hand returned inside the younger’s pants, his fingers easily wrapping around his shaft. Not wasting time, he started pumping slowly, starting from the tip, the entire length of it, and all the way to the base and back. Younghyun’s back arched as Jae did so, rewarding such ministrations with low, soft moans that escaped from his lips.

Needing to feel more of Jae’s warmth, Younghyun slipped his hands underneath the hem of Jae’s shirt. His hands started roaming his broad chest and stomach before lingering right at those perk and sensitive nipples.

Jae abruptly broke away from the kiss for a moment, looking down on him with dark, lust-filled eyes. “I need to take us home. _Now_.”

Younghyun’s heart fluttered at the sound of his voice, but when he looked around again—at the wild grass swiftly dancing with the wind, the small lights twinkling from the city, the faint sound of crickets as they kept re-emerging, the stars shining down on them, and the mere fact that they’re alone together in their own special place, finally able to enjoy each other’s company without a sliver of fear of getting caught or guilt at having this kind of relationship rotting them from the inside—Younghyun realized he, _they_ , need to be in this moment for a little while longer, needed to savor it more. To appreciate the fact that even though they legally share the same last name on paper, they are still lucky enough to have the kind of love that most people spend their whole lives not knowing what it really feels like to love and be loved by someone this way.

The day felt so liberating and ethereal that the sudden realization that it will be over soon and they will have no choice but to hide again once they go back home twisted Younghyun’s heart into a knot.

Releasing a heavy breath, he looked up to meet Jae’s eyes, his oh, so beautiful eyes that seemed to come alive only when he’s looking at the younger, and said, “Actually, can we stay here for a bit? Please?”

Something in Jae’s face softens. “Why is that?”

“It’s just...” Suddenly, he’s at a loss for words. “Today was so... and this place—oh God—this place is just...”

“Magical?” Jae supplied while exhaling to calm himself and his desires down.

Younghyun nodded, tears filling the sides of his eyes as he smiled at his lover. “So, can we please stay and look at the stars for a while longer?”

After a few seconds, Jae brought his head down to rest his forehead against Younghyun’s and gently rubbed his nose with his. “Oh baby, you don’t have to ask me twice. We can stay for as long as you want.”

They returned to their previous positions—the one where Younghyun was peacefully listening to Jae’s heart beat inside his chest while the older was blissfully committing the feel of Younghyun’s forefinger absently tracing his torso to memory—but this time, silence did not descend on them because Jae had something else in mind.

“So,” he started. “What changed your mind?” He lightly nudged the younger, his tone holding a mixture of curiosity and humor.

“About what?” Younghyun asked, sounding confused.

Jae chuckled. “Yesterday you were practically blackmailing me for sex and just now, when I was the one initiating, you asked me to wait. What changed your mind?” He repeated. Younghyun can easily hear the smile on Jae’s voice and he couldn’t help smiling himself too.

“This place.” He simply answered.

“You know we can always come back.” Jae told him, running his finger from the younger’s shoulder blade down to his arm.

“I know.”

Jae cleared his throat. “I have another question.”

“Shoot.”

“About yesterday,” he paused, sounding careful like he’s choosing his words.

“Go on, love. It’s fine.” Younghyun encouraged.

“Were you going through a sexual awakening or something?” His question made heat rush to Younghyun’s cheeks. “Don’t get me wrong, I know that this is all very new to you and I understand that completely. It’s just that . . . I wondered. You did seem pretty upset when I kept saying no to you.”

Younghyun groaned while trying to bury his face deeper on Jae’s chest from embarrassment.

Jae was quick to backtrack. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s not that.” He brought his hands up to cover the other half of his face, the side that’s not already covered by Jae’s shirt. “It’s quite ridiculous when I’m thinking of it now but, I guess, making love with you has given me this sort of proud feeling; like I get to touch you the way nobody else can; like at some point we were one, physically; like there’s no turning back—not that I was ever planning on it, but you know what I mean; and like I get to have this undeniable claim on you that says “ _You’re mine_ ,” loud and clear. I kept asking for more because I loved that feeling. And it just bothers me a little that I can’t tell it to someone we know. I’m not saying that I want to show you off—I do, but not this way. It’s just, to me, there’s something really powerful with being able to announce my love for you. And it frustrates me because I can’t even chat with my friends about you besides the fact that you’re such a great brother.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “And, I know I’m being pessimistic, but another reason why I kept asking for more was because I could hardly believe it myself, could hardly believe that it happened—that _we_ happened, could hardly think of myself worthy of being able to see you, touch you, and kiss you in every way possible. That if we made love enough times, I could finally start believing.”

Jae’s heart soared at the younger’s words. He felt for Younghyun. He knows how much it took from him to say those things—after all, it’s not often Younghyun willingly speaks his heart out—and Jae appreciated it very much.

“Who says we can’t announce it right now?”

Younghyun gave him a questioning look.

By way of answering, he sat up, cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted at the top of his lungs, “I’M IN LOVE WITH KANG YOUNGHYUN!”

Delighted, Younghyun quickly followed. “AND I’M IN LOVE WITH PARK JAEHYUNG!”

“I FUCKING LOVE HIM SO MUCH!”

“I FUCKING LOVE HIM SO MUCH!”

“HE’S MINE!”

“HE’S MINE!”

They were breathing heavily when they finished shouting a few more ridiculous things. Both had huge smiles on their faces. And when Jae looked at Younghyun, he hooked his right hand underneath the latter’s chin to make his eyes meet his. This time, his voice came out as soft as a whisper. “What do I have to do to make you believe that you are more than enough for me, that you are more than worthy, that we belong together for all eternity?”

Younghyun looked him right in the eyes as he uttered his answer. “Run away with me.”

His words themselves were not the main reason Jae was surprised. It was the realization that those exact words were hidden deep within his own heart’s desires—along with the images of the future that he wants them to have, dreaming of themselves creating a family and having kids, or well, adopting for that matter—but he’s been too afraid to acknowledge them. Having Younghyun speak them out in the open, having said them so easily and without any hint of doubt, something deep within Jae relaxes. And suddenly he’s met with a kind of absolute assurance.

And hope.

Always hope.

So, when he leans forward to press a kiss on the younger’s forehead, his next words came out as easily and without any hint of doubt as Younghyun’s did.

“Soon, my love.” He said fiercely. “I promise.”

***

“Hold on,” Jae told him as he tried to open the door to his room as he ravished the older’s neck with kisses.

Once they’re finally inside Younghyun’s bedroom, they wasted no time. They blindly pulled at the sheets and heard something hard fall to the floor. Jae tried to break away from the kiss to check what it was but Younghyun wouldn’t let him get far. “Relax. That’s just my phone.”

With that, Jae happily went back to concentrating on kissing the younger’s throat.

His hands quickly worked to unbutton Younghyun’s shirt, taking it all the way off. Next, his lips kissed a trail towards Younghyun’s left shoulder blade as he hitched the younger’s legs to wrap around his waist. He was the one who worked on removing his own shirt as he tightened his hold on the man squirming beneath him. Once he’s down to his boxers, he reached down to relieve Younghyun off with his pants and boxers as well, throwing it down to the floor to join the mess of their clothes. Jae bent down and feasted on the younger’s left nipple as his hand teased the other. And when he’s satisfied with them, working to get them stiff and perked up, he quickly trailed kisses down Younghyun’s torso, towards his navel, and finally, reaching his lower abdomen just above the base of his cock. He stopped there; teasing as his hands roamed the inner side of the younger’s thighs but stopping once they’re close enough to where Younghyun actually wants him.

“Stop teasing me, I–” Younghyun broke off mid-sentence when Jae’s tongue darted out to taste the spot just at the base of his shaft. He arched his back, asking for more.

“You want me to stop?” Jae whispered against his skin, pleased with himself as the younger started squirming with need.

“Don’t you dare.” He threatened, sounding out of breath.

Not in the mood for foreplay or teasing, Younghyun reached both of his hands down to guide Jae’s face back to his for another heated kiss. As their tongues danced, Younghyun’s hands left the older’s hair as they reached for the waistband of his boxers. He quickly pulled it off him. Soon enough, they were both as naked as when they were born. He felt Jae’s rock-hard member nudge the puckering opening of his ass so he wrapped his legs around Jae’s waist again in silent invitation. He pulled away from the kiss to look the older in the eyes. “I. Want. You. NOW.”

As if it was still possible, Jae’s eyes darkened even more with lust. He gave a quick nod before reaching a hand sideways to the nightstand.

“Actually, the condoms and lube are hidden in my bathroom.” Younghyun told him regretfully.

Above him, Jae groaned as he restrained himself enough to be able to get off the younger.

“I’m sorry, love,” Younghyun said to him sweetly before pressing a kiss on his shoulder. “It’s just that the maid cleans my nightstand from time to time and I can’t risk her seeing those things.” He explained.

Sighing, Jae nodded. “I’ll be right back.” He said before kissing him once again and heading towards the bathroom door. Once Younghyun heard it shut behind Jae, he suddenly felt the absence of the heat that the older’s body provides against his so he reached down to grab the blanket and covered his entire body with it. As he waited for him to locate the supplies, Younghyun couldn’t help smiling from excitement at what’s about to happen. It has only been two days since his first time, fully letting go and entrusting his entire being under Jae’s touch, but everything that happened that night were still fresh on his mind and he simply couldn’t—

“Younghyun?” Their mom called to him from the open door to the room. “The couch and the carpet are a mess downstairs, what happened to them?”

“Mom!” He shouted out of surprise as he felt his heart jump to his throat. He _hopes_ his voice was loud enough for Jae to hear them.

His mother cringed at Younghyun’s sudden raised tone. “Stop shouting, hon. I’m right here.”

He swallowed a lump in his throat. “Sorry, I just didn’t see you there. I mean, what— what are you doing home? I thought you and dad were not supposed to be back until tomorrow morning? It’s only like, 9pm. Is something wrong? Why did you come home early?” He’s rambling. Damn that nervous energy.

“Your father’s meeting got cut short. I tried to call you a few times but you weren’t answering.” His mother replied.

Younghyun almost cursed out loud. His phone! On one of the rare days he chose to leave the house without his phone, it would actually come back and bite him on the ass.

His mother started frowning, picking up on her son’s weird behavior. Her eyes started roaming the room, trying to see if something’s wrong—the walls, the door to the closet, the door to the bathroom, the bed, the _floor where their clothes were_ —but fortunately, the room was too dark and she did not bother turning the lights on. When her gaze landed back to her son, she squinted her eyes to try to see better in the dark. “Are you sleeping with your top off?”

Younghyun’s eyes widened in alarm. He tried very hard to sound calm. “Yeah, mom.” He managed to let out. “I was feeling a little hot so I took my shirt off.”

 _Please leave, please leave, please leave._ Younghyun prayed in his mind.

“Okay,” his mother did not appear to have anything else to say but she lingered on the doorway. “Honey, where’s your brother? He’s not in his room.”

“He’s at a classmate’s house, finishing a group project.”

“But his car is here.”

“It was out of gas so he just called for a taxi.” The lies kept easily rolling off his tongue.

His mother finally sighed and nodded. “Just tell him to lock up when he gets home. I’m joining Dad to bed. Good night, honey.” She started to turn and head out.

“Good night, mom.” Younghyun replied, holding his breath until he finally heard the doorknob click shut. And it’s when he heard the door to their parents’ room click shut as well, he finally heaved a sigh of relief.

He stood up and tiptoed to his door to lock it. Something that he should have done minutes ago.

He then picked up a random shirt from the floor—he got Jae’s shirt—put it on and walked towards the bathroom. Once he opened the door, he saw Jae hiding behind the shower curtains. “She’s gone. And I locked the door now, so we’re okay.” He told him as he sat down on top of the toilet seat. He didn’t notice his hands were shaking until he brought them up to cover his face.

Jae, still stark naked, approached the younger and crouched down to his level. He pulled the latter’s hands away from his face and made his eyes meet his. “We’re fine. She didn’t see anything, okay?” Jae tried to assure him in the most soothing voice he could muster.

“What if she came a few seconds earlier, what would’ve happened then?” Younghyun’s lower lip trembled.

Jae gathered him in his arms, the younger’s head resting on his shoulder. “But she _didn’t_. So, you have nothing to worry about, love. It’s a close call. We’ll just have to be very careful next time.”

“I’ve been so stupid leaving my phone!”

“You haven’t been and you’re not.” The older insisted. “I will not let you blame yourself for this. Nothing happened, Younghyun. We’re incredibly lucky that she came in at the right moment, now let’s just leave it at that.”

After a few moments of consideration, Younghyun finally nodded. “Okay.”

“Good.” His fingers carded through the younger’s hair.

“I guess we won’t be having sex tonight anymore, will we?” Younghyun joked to lighten the mood.

Jae laughed. He couldn’t help it; his boyfriend has a knack for saying the right words to brighten him. “There’s always next time.” He winked after saying that.

Younghyun pulled away from the embrace to give the older a long kiss. “I love you.”

Jae nudged his nose with the younger’s. “I love you, too.” He looked down at his shirt on Younghyun, making a smile to appear on his lips. “As much as I love seeing my clothes on you, I think I might need to borrow this one because I need to get home from my classmate’s house any time soon.” He said, referring to having to pretend coming home.

“Okay.” Younghyun replied as he lifted the shirt off.

“Hm,” he started. “Yup, this is definitely much better.” He commented after seeing the younger's complete naked form again.

Younghyun chuckled before lightly punching him on the shoulder. “Get out of here already and fake going home. Get in through the front door and make sure to close or bang the gate loudly so that mom might hear.”

Jae nodded, “Yes, sir,” before he stood up, got dressed and tiptoed his way out of the room.

A few minutes later, Younghyun heard the loud lock of their gate being closed and a few knocks on the door before he went down, let his brother in, and asked how their “group project” has been.

Just at the top of the stairway, their mother was stood, waiting to greet her eldest son a good night before retiring back to their room.

_Four months later_

“Jae?” Mrs. Park called to her son from the kitchen one Thursday afternoon when him and Younghyun got home from school. “I need you, honey.”

“Yes, mom?” He peered at the doorway, seeing his mother rummaging through the refrigerator with a frown.

Seeing that her son obviously looks exhausted from school, Mrs. Park made a face. “I know you’re tired, and I hate to ask you this, dear,” Jae cut her off by saying, “It’s alright, mom. What do you need?”

With a sigh, Mrs. Park continued, “Can you make a quick trip to the grocery store? Our food supply is running a little low.” His mom straightened and closed the fridge, fishing something from her back pocket. “I made Maria take the night off, including the whole day tomorrow, because she said it’s her mother’s 90th birthday on Saturday and she needed time to prepare for the celebration because almost every one of their relatives are arriving for the occasion. She already had general cleaning earlier today so unless we made a mess, this house is good and clean enough to last the weekend. But don’t worry about the groceries, I already made a list for you. I would do it myself but your dad and I are leaving early tomorrow for another week-long business trip so I need to rest early tonight.”

With a nod, he walked closer to grab the grocery list from his mother’s outstretched hand.

“Thanks, hon.” His mother told him. “Feel free to add in whatever you want.”

He nodded again before starting to walk away from the kitchen. “I’ll drive to the store in a minute, let me just go and ask Younghyun if he wants to come with—”

“Oh, actually no,” his mom stopped him on his tracks. “I need him to collect our clothes from the laundry store.” She paused, raising her voice. “Younghyun-ah? Can you come over here to the kitchen for a minute?” She called to her youngest son.

A few seconds later, Younghyun emerged from the door. “What is it, ma?”

Mrs. Park repeated the chore to him.

Younghyun nodded before saying, “Okay, I’ll just have Jae to drop me off and pick me up afterwards.” Jae uttered a quick, “Will do,” in agreement.

“No need.” Their mother said. “You can just take my car, sweetie.”

Younghyun tried to reason. “But it’s better to—”

“No buts, Younghyun.” Their mother cut him off. “The laundry store is out of Jae’s way. Don’t make him drive you all the way to downtown; he’s already tired from school.”

Sighing, Younghyun relented. “Fine. Where are your keys?”

“Oh, here.” Mrs. Park fished it from one of her front pockets and handed it to Younghyun. “Drive safely, you two.”

“Yes, mom.” Younghyun and Jae chorused before making their way to the garage.

When Jae arrived at the nearest mall where they buy their groceries, he cursed because he just remembered that the grocery store is currently under renovation and he has no choice but to drive to the second nearest one for groceries. This store—the one he’s currently parked on—is actually their family’s go-to store not only because it’s less than fifteen minutes away from home but also because Mr. & Mrs. Park are honorary members of the board and so they get huge discounts whenever they shop there using their parents’ credit cards.

Backing out of the parking lot, Jae couldn’t help smiling at the thought of having to go back to the mall where him and Younghyun usually go to have their out-in-public dates—the one located from a few towns over. They loved playing like long-time couples at the place, buying groceries together and whatnot. They often visit the place because they know they would not be recognized nor see any familiar face but until recently—three months ago, to be exact—they haven’t been back because of how busy school has made the both of them. Jae missed the easy and happy disposition this place puts him in; he worries a little less about being seen having a date with Younghyun as he lets a portion of his guards down, if only for a few hours.

Once he arrived at the store, he took his time to collect all the things on his mother’s grocery list. He added in a few of his and Younghyun’s favorite snacks, beverages, and... on a separate transaction, a new pack of condoms. As mentioned, for the past three months or so, they have been too busy to even make love to each other whenever Younghyun sneaks into and out of his room every night and before going to school. They were often too tired to stay up late. The furthest they’ve done are a few hand jobs and foreplay. So, you can’t blame him for missing being intimate with his boyfriend.

At the checkout counter, he was greeted with a familiar looking middle-aged woman.

“Good evening, sir!” The woman—her name tag read _Hi! I’m GRACE. Happy to serve you!—_ greeted him. “Glad to see you again! Haven’t seen you and your boyfriend in like—”

“A few months, yeah,” he supplied. “We’ve been busy with school. It’s finals season and it has been brutal.”

“Oh, well,” she started as she slid the bags of Cheetos on the counter. “Good luck with the rest of the schoolwork. Hope to see you both visit again soon.”

“Me, too.” He smiled at her. “We haven’t been out recently and I really miss it. Thankfully, midterms are almost over so—”

“Jae?” A woman’s voice called from behind him on the line.

He turned around and when he saw who it was, his heart almost stopped cold. It was Maria, their maid.

“It is you!” She said once they were both facing each other. “Hey sweet cheeks, I’m sorry you were the one who was asked to do the groceries while I’m gone. It’s just that my mother’s birthday is—”

“Yeah, mom told us.” His nervous energy made him interrupt her. On the corner of his eyes, he noticed the pack of condoms and lube on top of the counter. He almost cursed out loud. His heart started beating incredibly fast; he was afraid it would pop out of his chest. Subtly, he tried to hide them behind his body while striking up a conversation with their maid. “So, do you often shop here, Maria?”

Jae silently prayed for her to give a negative response. He would feel sad if she said yes which will then result into him and Younghyun losing their safe place to go out as a couple in public. They would have to drive even farther away from home if they want to have an actual date.

“Not really,” she replied. It took everything in Jae to suppress releasing a sigh of relief. It might make her suspicious if he did so. “There were just a few ingredients unavailable in the market where I usually go to. What about you, son? Here often?”

“Oh, not really...” He vaguely replied. And as if on cue, the checkout lady is finally done with his groceries. “That’ll be 750 dollars, sir. The usual mode of payment?”

“ _Shit._ ” He cursed quietly. Tonight is _so_ not his night. He quickly handed the lady his mom’s credit card and briefly grabbed the bags and said goodbye to the both of them. “Goodbye Maria, ‘bye Grace.” He widened his strides to put as much distance between them and himself as quickly as possible but he still heard Maria chatting up with the lady behind the counter so he slowed his steps, trying to listen in.

“How do you know him?” He heard Maria ask Grace.

“He often visited here. Well, until three months ago.” Grace replied casually. “With his boyfriend.”

 _Fuck_.

“Oh?” The surprise was quite evident in Maria’s voice. “He has a boyfriend? I didn’t know that.”

“Well, yeah. They’ve been going here for months now. They’re so cute, they look so in love with each other.” Said Grace.

“Aw,” Maria cooed. “That’s nice. I’m so happy for him. What does the guy look like?”

“Oh, he’s beautiful. They really do look perfect together.” Grace paused. “He actually looks intimidating at first with his intense eyes but that quickly goes out the window whenever the guy smiles—and he’s almost always smiling beside Jae. I guess it’s true that, with the right person, you couldn’t help but brighten up…”

He walked farther away before the two ladies start to notice him still lingering there.

 _Good God that was close._ He thought to himself as he quickly made his way to the car. Checking his phone after placing the groceries inside the trunk, he saw that he had a couple of new text messages. One from his mom and the other is from Younghyun.

 **Mom:** _Can you also stop by the drug store to buy motion sickness meds? Your dad and I are leaving quite early tomorrow morning so I don’t think we’ll have enough time to buy it ourselves._

 **Mom:** _Also, some flu meds just in case. I’m not feeling well recently. I think I might come down with something._

 **Jaehyungie:** _Sure, mom._

“ _. . . leaving quite early tomorrow morning . . .”_ He echoed in his head. And Maria is also gone for the whole weekend. As realization dawned on him, he suddenly felt giddy and excited. Him and Younghyun will have the house all to themselves the entire weekend. Again. The thought of not needing to travel far just to go on a date and be able to openly intimate with each other, that they could easily do that in their own home for the second time without worrying about getting caught is enough to brighten his mood.

He quickly opened his and Younghyun’s text thread, one message already waiting to be read.

 **Younghyun:** _Love, guess what???_

 **Jae:** _What?_

The younger’s reply was quick.

 **Younghyun:** _Mom told me they’ll leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow..._

 **Jae:** _And?_

He decided to tease him a bit.

 **Younghyun:** _And Maria won’t be back ‘til Monday afternoon..._

 **Jae:** _Yes, and? What’s your point?_

 **Younghyun:** _You still don’t get it?_

 **Jae:** _Get what?_

 **Younghyun:** _Ughhh_

 **Jae:** _‘Ugh’? Are you moaning, love?_

He couldn’t help but laugh.

 **Younghyun:** _Not yet. But I know I will be for the entire weekend because of you._

 **Jae:** _Why?_

 **Younghyun:** _OHMYGOD you’re so clueless, love! We have the house all to ourselves for the whole weekend! You were just telling me the other night how badly you wanted to blow off steam after the midterms; and now the moment has presented itself!_

 **Younghyun:** _We haven’t been completely alone together this past week and I just really missed you. Don’t get me wrong, I loved cuddling with you every night but I also want to do other things…_

 **Younghyun:** _And I want to be able to do those “other things” to you without having to think that someone might hear or walk in on us. So, do you get it now???_

 **Jae:** _Younghyun-ah_

 **Jae:** _You have no idea how much I missed doing those “other things” with you as well. So much that I’m actually considering sexting with you right now but then I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to drive home safely to find the one good thing in my life waiting for me—you._

 **Jae:** _So yes, I get it ;)_

 **Younghyun:** _..._

 **Younghyun:** _I love you._

 **Jae:** _I love you, too._

 **Younghyun:** _Don’t forget the condoms._

This time, Jae’s loud laughter filled the car.

 **Jae:** _Already bought a large pack. And a new bottle of your favorite lube._

 **Younghyun:** _Good._

 **Younghyun:** _Drive safely, my love. ;)_

Next morning, as expected, they woke up to the sound of their parents getting ready to leave. Jae and Younghyun made themselves useful by helping their parents finish packing. It was not like they were trying to get rid of them quickly but it’s just… actually no, that’s exactly what they were doing. And when the sound of the gates closing behind their parents reached their ears, Jae and Younghyun collectively heaved a sigh of relief.

In mere minutes, Younghyun wasted no time getting at it as he waited in his room, naked, for Jae to come back after driving out to buy breakfast—“for sustenance” he said. As he laid in bed, his hands wandered down his body and came to rest on his half-mast. He thought of the last time they were intimate with each other—more than two months ago—and realized just how much he missed getting to touch Jae, longed to make him cry out once more with his mouth wrapped around Jae’s length, and couldn’t wait to get fucked senseless again. How just the simple promise of what’s to come was more than enough to arouse Younghyun’s desires, to ignite the fire from deep within his gut. So, he started to pump his hand on his shaft to get it fully erect. He wanted to surprise Jae with how ready he already was as soon as the older gets home, wanted him to come home to this view—Younghyun looking completely spent and satiated with his own juices drying all over his stomach.

Legs spread wide, Younghyun languidly stroked himself and occasionally fondled his balls. His motions were slow and a little messy after he poured lube into his hands, making the slide a little easier and smoother. As he felt himself getting into it, a finger teasingly poking at his fluttering hole, Younghyun closed his eyes and imagined that it was Jae doing this to him.

He couldn’t help it; he was feeling a little impatient and needed to get off now. But it doesn’t matter, he knew Jae would make it up to him later. His slicked fingers started spreading his insides, the stretch was all too pleasurable that he didn’t bother holding back any sound that slipped out of his mouth. He pictured Jae’s slender fingers curling inside of him as he teased the areas around his prostate, narrowly avoiding it.

“ _Oh, Jae…_ ” he moaned into the empty room, the sudden hoarseness in his voice out of arousal mixed in with the squelching sounds caused by his lubed-up fingers thrusting in a little faster while his free hand continued pumping his erection. “Mmm… you feel so good, hyung— _fuck_!”

He added another finger into the action—three now—as he curled his digits, permitting them to nudge his prostate this time and making his cock jerk involuntarily. He replayed in his head the very first time Jae introduced him to this kind of stimulation and how much he whimpered uncontrollably at the incredible sensation of it all. He pictured the infuriatingly satisfied smirk on Jae’s lips that usually appeared whenever Younghyun would be exceptionally loud, all the dirty things he would whisper to Younghyun’s ear right now if he was here. He felt in his other hand that pre-come started leaking from the tip so he teased the slit a little, effectively adding in some of his seed with the lube.

“M-More please, Jae—oh _shit_ …” he cried out some more as his thoughts ran wild with the anticipation of Jae doing almost the exact same thing to him later.

The familiar heat from deep within his insides started building up at his ministrations. However, Younghyun wanted to make himself last a little longer, felt that he deserved another explosive orgasm after being sexually deprived and wrung dry for weeks. So, as he added the fourth and final finger into himself, he had to grip the head of his cock to prevent himself from climaxing.

_Just a little more…_

The stretch was something he was not used to but definitely not an unwelcome feeling all the same. The pain quickly transitioned into something more, giving way to toe-curling pleasure as he worked to open himself up further and basically abusing his prostate while he’s at it. He began panting, the sound of his quick breaths echoing throughout his room. His back arched into his hand as his hips started moving, thrusting towards the motion of his hand. The bed started to creak as Younghyun rode his fingers, not once did his other hand loosen its grip on his shaft, afraid he might explode the second that he does.

As he felt cold tingles started running through his entire body, Younghyun decided that he’s had enough. His lower half, hips and thighs, felt sensitive so he let go of his shaft, his focus was now solely on the fingers pumping in and out of his ass. And at the last few thrusts, he purposely hit his prostate with his fingers head-on and stayed there, finally causing his release.

“Fucking fuck—oh god, _Jae_!” White, blinding fire surged through him as he peaked, the sensation made all the more intense by his sweet spot being overstimulated and from the effects of holding off his release for as long as he could handle. He brought his hand back to his cock as he continued milking himself, riding out the blissful orgasm. He let out a few whimpers, loving the feel of his insides clenching around his fingers as more of his white seed spurted out of his cock. And as he’s coming down from his high, pulled his hand from his ass and let go of his overly sensitive cock, he gave out a final moan of his lover’s name.

The sound of another scream echoed inside the room.

But this time it didn’t come from the man lying in bed.

Younghyun’s eyes flew open and his blood ran cold in his veins as he caught sight of his mother standing on the doorway. She stood there, stock-still as if she had seen a ghost. A shaky hand covered her mouth that was letting out small, uncontrollable sobs.

As their eyes met, everything felt frozen before all hell broke loose.

Mrs. Park stormed into the room, her entire form was basically shaking out of anger, shock, and something else… her face held the look of someone who just had her heart break into two. As she got closer to the bed, Younghyun grappled at the sheets in an attempt to cover himself. But it was no use, his mother saw everything—heard every sound that came out of his mouth.

“Tell me you were not thinking of your brother while touching yourself!” She demanded, her voice sounding so fragile that Younghyun felt his own heart breaking a little too. He was still too shocked to even form a coherent thought as he stared back at his mother, scared. “Park Younghyun!” She shouted. “Tell me you did _not_ just say your brother’s name!”

Younghyun remained silent. No, he could not tell her that. Because she heard correctly, he had Jae in his mind the entire time he pleasured himself. And she knew. Just from the look of shame on his face and the way he suddenly couldn’t meet her eyes, she knew for sure that she wouldn’t get an answer from her youngest son—someone she had believed to be perfectly innocent and incapable of doing such unspeakable things.

“You know how wrong this is, Younghyun-ah…” Her voice broke upon saying his name. “Dad drove me back home because I wasn’t feeling well. Thank God I’m here now because… were you— are you feeling sick, too, baby?” She sat down on the bed beside her son, her features looking increasingly frantic the more words left her mouth. She reached out to grip the younger’s wrist, her mind actively blocking out the thought that his hand was inside his own ass just a minute ago. “Come on, my sweet child, let me take you to the hospital. We’re going to see uh, a-a doctor or, um, a therapist! Yes, I’m going to take you the best therapist our money can buy. This will stay between us two, okay? Jae and your father can never know about this. I’ll make you get treated from this— this _sickness_ , sweetheart.”

Younghyun felt his heart in his throat as his worst fears were being confirmed right in front of him. _They won’t understand…_ “I’m not sick, mom, I—”

“Yes. You are, Younghyun.” She interrupted him, her grip on his wrist starting to hurt now.

“No.” He countered while trying to remove his hand from his mother’s vise-like grip. “I’m not. I am in love with him, mom.”

The sudden slap on his cheek stung, the sound echoing the loudest in the room. All Younghyun could do was to stare back at her, shocked and emotionally wounded.

“This isn’t right!” She shouted back, sounding hysterical now. She tightened her hold on him as she leaned closer. This was the first time Younghyun ever felt scared of his mother. “You’re not supposed to love your own brother like this!”

“He’s _not_ my brother!” Younghyun shot back. “I think you’re forgetting one important thing—I’m adopted. _You_ adopted me.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Her voice was getting higher. “You grew up together! Do you have any idea what other people will think? How this might affect our family’s name if this gets out?!”

Younghyun was adamant. He started to feel anger rising to the surface as well as his mother seemed to care more about reputation than trying to understand what he feels. “I don’t care. None of that matters because Jae loves me too. Yes, mom. You heard me. _We’re in love_. We’re lovers.” Younghyun felt satisfaction cloud his better judgment after seeing a newfound look of shock and terror appear on his mother’s face. He added, trying to twist the knife a little deeper, “And to tell you the truth, Jae has fucked me in his own bed more times than the number of years I’ve been alive.”

“ _No!_ ” His mother sobbed. The tears were flowing freely down her face, seeming endless. “No, no, no!” She started hitting him as she cried. “This isn’t happening! Where’s your brother right now? Tell him to come home. I’ll be sending him on the next plane ride straight to Seoul. I _forbid_ you to see each other again! I’m putting a stop to all of this madness!”

Younghyun removed his hands that were previously shielding his face to stare back at his mother. Cold, hard fear started enveloping his chest, about to swallow him whole as he registered the words his mother was saying. “You can’t do this to us!”

“Yes, I can. And I will.” She threatened. “I’ll make sure to marry him off to the daughter of your father’s business partner as soon as possible.”

At the thought of them apart and separated, at the image of a stranger taking his place beside Jae, something shifted in Younghyun’s expression. Gone was his earlier fear and shock. Something vile and scary taking its place.

Pulling at the hand on his wrist, his mother’s upper body was yanked forward as Younghyun’s free hand wrapped around her throat. She let out a surprised yelp as Younghyun sat up in bed, looking at her menacingly. Her grip on his wrist loosened as she tried to grab at her son’s hand around her neck, slowly constricting her airways.

“I will not let anything and _anyone_ take Jae away from me. He’s mine and mine _alone_. Do you hear me?” Younghyun’s voice sounded cold, the fury behind his eyes downright frightening. His anger spiked when his mother didn’t respond. “ _Do you hear me?!_ ” He repeated, louder in his booming voice.

His mother desperately nodded, jaw gaped open as she tried to get as much air into her lungs as possible.

His own heart pounding inside his chest was all he could hear as he let himself get lost in his anger. He was so consumed by it that he didn’t notice someone else walked into the room.

“Younghyun-ah!” Jae’s voice reached his ears, sounding alarmed. In an instant, he felt Jae’s hands reach to free his mother from his grasp. Younghyun immediately came to his senses after seeing the look of panic on his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Mom, are you okay?!” Jae shook his mother by the shoulders. She looked worryingly pale but thankfully, she has not passed out.

Younghyun looked at his mother on the bed, gasping, coughing and barely conscious, and then at Jae who looked afraid and confused. “What did you do?” He asked the younger, voice sounding small and fragile.

“Jae, oh God, I— I’m _so_ sorry, I didn't know what came over me!” He rushed forward to wrap his arms around Jae. He didn’t care that he was still completely naked with his own spunk dried on his stomach. He really just needed to reassure himself that Jae is still _here_. That no one is taking him away anytime soon. Not if Younghyun had anything to do about it.

He almost cried out in relief after feeling the older tentatively wrap his arms around him in response. “Why did you do that?”

“She-she wanted to take you away from me!” He sobbed against Jae’s chest. He began shaking as he finally let his emotions flow out of him through his words. “She’s going to break us up apart! I couldn’t— I _won’t_ let that happen! God, you have no idea how much I love you. So much so that I’m literally shaking at the thought of you being away from me. You have to understand that you’re my life, Jae! I can’t live without you. You’re everything to me.” He was sobbing uncontrollably now, his hiccups catching in his throat as he grabbed desperately at Jae, afraid he might suddenly vanish before his eyes.

In this instant, Jae was at a cross-road. He looked at his mother on the bed, eyes half-lidded as her breathing slowly but surely started to calm. His heart also felt for the boy in his arms because he had an idea of what happened—what might have caused their mother’s sudden outburst that led to the scene that he came home to. He felt the heart-gripping fear of what their mother planned to do, the lengths she would be willing to go to just to put a stop to their relationship. His heart broke into a million pieces as he felt the love of his life shivering in fear and holding on to him for dear life, as he felt the younger's tears through his shirt. He regretted that he didn’t come home a little sooner to prevent Younghyun from hurting this way, thinking that he failed at his most important job in life—to keep Younghyun safe.

And just like that, Jae made his decision.

After he cupped the younger’s face and tilted his head for their eyes to meet, he whispered the words that would change their lives forever. “Let’s go, Younghyun. I’m ready now.”

Younghyun’s eyes shone as he understood perfectly what Jae meant. It’s _finally_ time for them to run away. Leave their lives behind to start a new one—together.

A few more tears streamed down his puffy cheeks, tears that Jae were quick to wipe away with his fingers, his touch the softest it’s ever been as he longed to hear the younger’s next words. “Anywhere, Jae. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where we go.”

For the next few minutes, they quickly and efficiently gathered all the things they might need—Younghyun's journal, a few of their plain, boring clothes, underwear, lots and lots of cash (for good measure, they also stole all of the money inside their parents’ safe located in their room), and a bunch of fake IDs accompanied with fake documents for when they might need to look for a job. Ever since their date at that overlooking months ago, the very first time they entertained the idea of running away, they began plotting a few things, considered all the places they would go to, and prepared all the things that they would need to be able to get to those places. They packed lightly; they didn’t want to bring any of their old things into their new potential lives anyway.

As they stood in the middle of Younghyun’s room, their mother still barely awake but the color has started to return to her face, they assessed their things for the last time. They wore comfortable clothes, knows that they’ll be on the run for the next couple of weeks, maybe months, before they’re finally able to feel the least bit comfortable settling down someplace longer than necessary.

With the bags on their backs, they share a chaste kiss before Jae’s goes to open the door of Younghyun’s room. And in the split second that he looked back to grab Younghyun’s hand, he saw their mother coming at Younghyun from behind with fury in her eyes and her arms outstretched as if to violently pry the younger away from him.

It all became incredibly instinctual to Jae at that point.

If he couldn’t prevent Younghyun from hurting earlier, then he sure as hell will avenge him for making him cry. Younghyun’s old playmate and his own course-mate Carlo were prime examples of that. His primal instinct kicked in. The one that always told him to protect Younghyun at all costs, the one that permitted no one to ever lay a hand on him.

He quickly pulled Younghyun into the safety of his arms as he smacked his mother on the face so hard, she fell to the floor.

Wordlessly, they left their mother like that, passed out with bruises that started to vaguely take the shape of Younghyun’s fingers forming around her throat and a bright red hand print blooming on one of her cheeks.

Not once did Jae and Younghyun ever looked back.

They took Jae’s car to drive them from California until they crossed two state lines in one day—Nevada and Arizona—before dumping it on an almost empty parking lot before taking a cab to drive them back to a junkyard on the outskirts of town where they would buy a beat up old car to take them as far as it’s willing to go. Jae had his hood up and Younghyun had a black cap on as they transacted with the owner, signing their names as Dennis and Brian, respectively—the first of many fake names and identities to come. They don’t spend too much time there as they continued driving until Jae’s arms felt like they would fall off from driving for ten hours straight, so they stopped at the nearest small and non-descript motel in the middle of nowhere to crash for the night in New Mexico.

As they laid in bed after a quick fuck, both too giggly from the aftereffects of the sex and just their overall excitement from the thrill of being on the run, they talked about their dreams that once sounded too impossible but were now looking almost at their reach. They loved the feel of having to openly tell the woman at the lobby that they needed a room for two and so they were given a honeymoon suite, enjoyed driving around with their hands intertwined on top of the center console, and elated at not having to feel hesitant to give the other a kiss in public.

And when, the next day, with the morning news playing quietly from the television, Jae and Younghyun stopped eating to hear one of the latest updates, they felt happy even more.

“…as the wife of the owner of Park Industries got mugged inside their home yesterday morning.” The lady reported shared into the camera. “The police were called into the five-million-dollar home by Mrs. Park herself, saying that someone broke into their house and stole all of the money they kept for emergencies.”

The screen then switched to a clip of their mother looking distressed as she said, “I’m terrified to go back to that house, alone, when both my sons are out of the country doing various charity works. Thank God my husband is already on the way back from his business trip…”

“When asked if they were going to press charges, the Parks, however, chose not to share the CCTV footage to the authorities, claiming that they would rather want to forget the whole situation and asked for the media to appreciate their request for privacy as they try to heal after such a horrifying experience.”

“‘…out of the country doing various charity works’, now this is why our parents are successful in business.” Jae mused, repeating their mother’s words. “They’re good at coming up with bullshit stories to spin this whole thing around so that they could still benefit from it.”

Younghyun couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that… their way of letting us know that we’re cut out of the family will?”

Jae joined in as well as they continued eating. The situation wasn’t really funny; they were mostly just laughing out of relief. “I guess so.”

Although if they’re both being honest, they were a little disappointed too. They loved the initial thrill they felt the moment they left their old home. The moment they left their mother behind in that condition after having to fight for each other were one of the most exhilarating things they’ve ever felt.

A week later, they found themselves crossing the border to Mexico. Their nerves were at an all time high as they presented their fake IDs to the soldiers. But he just barely glanced at it before returning it to them and waving at them to keep moving—they’re more worried about stopping people who plans to sneak in rather than people leaving the country.

They’re driving a different car this time, much nicer than the first one they bought from the junkyard. They bought a new apartment as well, under different names, of course—James and Steven Lee—as a newly-wed couple. And the next day, Jae gets hired at a local restaurant as an assistant cook. They avoid getting attached to any potential friendships, neither too trusting of strangers as they settled into their new life, reveling in the fact that they’re happy they still have each other.

And at night, they share the things they're thankful for and the new realizations they learned along the way. How Jae believes that there’s no one in the world who’s a better match for him than Younghyun. And how Younghyun believes that they ultimately deserve to live in this simple and happy life while they both remained as dangerously co-dependent and menacingly possessive of each other as ever.


End file.
